Crossroad of Uncertainties

Crossroad of Uncertainties 1- Being raised in an environment engulfed by the family disease called alcoholism, not even once did I ever think my father would change for the better. But to my pleasant surprise and disbelief, he did and now I'm rejoicing over the existence of a beautiful bond that had left a vacuum in my heart all these years!

Crossroad of Uncertainties 2- Being a slow learner amid two 'Einsteins' in my family, I never once thought I would attain a degree. But to my pleasant surprise I did, that too at the age of 30 and I'm damn proud of myself!

Crossroad of Uncertainties 3- Being the chubby girl with loads of low esteem, I never once thought that I would lose weight and get my esteem back. But to my pleasant surprise I did and now I'm exulting!

Crossroad of Uncertainties 4- Being abused emotionally in a string of past relationships, I never once thought that I would find true love. But to my pleasant surprise I did and I'm now swimming in sheer bliss!

Crossroad of Uncertainties 5- Being born into a conservative and traditional family, I never once thought that my family would easily embrace my inter-racial relationship without any inhibitions and judgments. But to my pleasant surprise, they did with their arms wide open and with so much ease and I'm truly grateful to them!

Crossroad of Uncertainties 6- Being a mother of 0 for the last three years, I never once thought that I, the embodiment of positivity and optimism, will be on the brink of giving up hope to experience the beauty of motherhood. However, today, I fervently started believing that one day(hopefully soon) I will be adding this line to my post, "But to my pleasant surprise and disbelief, we have finally created God's precious gift of love!!!!!!!!!!!!"


p.s: Thank You Karla and Elle for returning my hope, in its full glory, back to me. You have no idea how uplifting your comments were :).

Utter Devastation

My beloved and I have been trying to conceive for sometime now. The last few days have been really trying for both of us. My period was delayed by a few days. For someone who has been very regular and spot on, this delay was seen as a glimmer of hope for two souls who have been wanting to experience the bliss of parenthood desperately. We thought we had finally hit the jackpot. Carried away with a combination of excitement and anxiety, I even started looking up the net for our baby's due date (despite cautioning dh and mum not to get too optimistic). Our bundle of joy was supposed to arrive on or around 23rd of September. 3 days later, that excitement shortlived. My 'best friend' arrived last evening. Guess she was suffering from a hangover...thus the delay. Cried for a few minutes upon seeing her. Then I pieced myself together. Enough of crying...its time to move on. I went on with my daily routine with a heavy heart just wanting the dreadful day to end. I could so relate to this saying now: MAN PROPOSES, GOD DISPOSES. At least, that's the only way we can console ourselves and continue to look forward to a promising future. For now, we will keep on hanging onto a fine thread called HOPE. Keeping our fingers crossed and waiting patiently....for God's disposal.