Thursday, January 15, 2009

Utter Devastation

My beloved and I have been trying to conceive for sometime now. The last few days have been really trying for both of us. My period was delayed by a few days. For someone who has been very regular and spot on, this delay was seen as a glimmer of hope for two souls who have been wanting to experience the bliss of parenthood desperately. We thought we had finally hit the jackpot. Carried away with a combination of excitement and anxiety, I even started looking up the net for our baby's due date (despite cautioning dh and mum not to get too optimistic). Our bundle of joy was supposed to arrive on or around 23rd of September. 3 days later, that excitement shortlived. My 'best friend' arrived last evening. Guess she was suffering from a hangover...thus the delay. Cried for a few minutes upon seeing her. Then I pieced myself together. Enough of crying...its time to move on. I went on with my daily routine with a heavy heart just wanting the dreadful day to end. I could so relate to this saying now: MAN PROPOSES, GOD DISPOSES. At least, that's the only way we can console ourselves and continue to look forward to a promising future. For now, we will keep on hanging onto a fine thread called HOPE. Keeping our fingers crossed and waiting patiently....for God's disposal.


  1. Just keep trying! I suffered two miscarriages before my beautiful Rose came along. I remember after the second loss, my mother said to me, "Just get right back in that bedroom and keep trying!" It was more than a little awkward hearing that from my mother, but we took her advice and it worked.

    Sometimes Mother Nature is a bit slow on delivering the goods.

    try to relax and do enjoy the process!

  2. awwwwwww sorry to hear...but keep one's chin up and keep trying....big hugs to you.

  3. What a beautiful sensitive soul you are. I can literally feel the energy from here. I hope you have some connection with early childhood education. You are needed there but then whereever you find yourself people will begin to notice you if they have not already.

    Let me make a predictation...You will be amazed in a few years. You are coming into your own....It will be an unfurling...literally.

    Let me know if I am correct as this time goes by. I hope I have not embarassed you. That was not my intent.
    In the mean time, thank you for your lovely comment on my blog.

    I would like for us to exchange following blogs links. Toward that end I have added my name as a follower to your blog. Please come and add your name as a follower to my blog? These connections are special I believe.

  4. What a privilege! :).I have done just that. Thank you for inviting me into your circle of life.

  5. Hey there... I found your blog through a comment you left at Linda's Psyche Connections.

    I'm really touched by your story. I have two friends who are pregnant now and my sister (who is younger than I) has a six year old daughter (who is named after me). But I am very sick and will not be able to have children. I am okay with that - am finding joy in other ways. Thankfully, my boyfriend is very supportive and doesn't want children. (Adoption is not an option because I couldn't physically care for another person.)

    But I imagine it would be very difficult to want a family so badly.

    I look forward to reading more about your journey.

  6. Thanks for dropping by Charli :).We have not shut ourselves away from the possibilities of "what if". What if we are not blessed to be parents? We are ready and willing to embrace that situation with open arms as well.Time will tell......

    As for you Charli, you are a fighter; a true inspiration :)


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